If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
So I have a friend who read the last page of The Fault in Our Stars before she actually started the book and she thought they were getting married because Hazel said ‘I do, Augustus.’ So she went through the ENTIRE BOOK THINKING THEY WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
is hetalia even real
I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood
I mean seriously
what do you think we do every month
THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING
AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON
I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrafices too huh
Well now we do
I remember this post from somewhere but I lost it!
can you imagine though
you send your enemies a rather large amount of these in various sizes. you leave no return address or explanation. they open all the boxes to discover these wondrous pillows. they are reluctant to keep them but eventually they give in and integrate them into their home like the above pictures. after a few weeks or even months, theyve gotten accustomed to having them in their home and routinely relax in a large pile of the odd pillows. until one night you just take every single one back and replace them with actual rocks of the same dimensions so that when its time for them to relax and unwind from their day day fall into a pile of hard unmoving boulders. they break their spine and are paralyzed. you have won
What the fuck is wrong with you…
WHY IS SOME CLOTHING SO HARD
Okay, show of hands. Who else has experienced legitimate fear of becoming trapped in a piece of clothing in a fitting room?
I think everyone reblogging has experienced this
attention shoppers, will the owner of the blue monster truck parked outside please report to the front. that thing is fucking sick and the manager wants to shake your hand
i’ve always scoffed at those “oh my god europe is tiny”-posts but we just took the wrong exit driving back to our cabin and we literally ended up in norway and decided to just stay for dinner so yeah
this just happened AGAIN jesus fucking christ there isn’t even a sign that says welcome to fucking norway you’re just there all of a sudden
I could miss an exit and still stay in my state for another 8 hours.
single and ready for someone to fall in love with me already like damn
This was recorded by the Portsmouth Sinfonia in an experiment where all the members of the orchestra would swap instruments with each other and attempt to play them to the best of their ability.
favorite things about this
- literally all the brass starts to get the hang of it and then the crescendos happen and everyone is like FUCK FUCK FUCK??? FUCK. JUST. BLOW RLY HARD.
- the strings are lazy but also the same. like u can tell a lot of the ppl w/ the stringed instruments may already basically know how to play stringed instruments. like there’s definitely a section at the beginning where you hear a good portion going “oh yeah this is like. a smaller/bigger version of what i do.”
- all you hear of any woodwinds is just “pffffttt??? pFFFTTTT???? PFFFFFTTTT I SAID PFFFFTTTT!!!!!” bc woodwinds are fucking HARD and you hear after like the first crescendo half of them just give up. they give up. they’re done. fuck this it tastes weird and my lips hurt.
- that trumpet. that person is fucking TRYING man they fucking GOT this. they may not have figured out notes but they figured out LOUD and they GOT this.
I JUST DIED
I SEARCHED THIS POST FOR AGES OH MY GOD
team I’m the ugly friend but it’s good bc I’m funny and chill
why do people get excited when I message them back on here i’m a 16 year old boy that laughs at a cheeseburger sitting on a windshield with ‘perfect day’ playing in the background
The only reason I followed you was because I thought you were Josh Peck from drake and josh.